Fly United

Take Off

San Francisco Airport. We check our luggage, get the gate number, and talk about maybe watching some new movies on the seat-back video consoles during the flight. I'm hoping for some of the new super-hero flicks like Thor, X-Men, or Green Lantern. William, Henry and I discuss upcoming summer movie releases as Ariel and JP take their last smoke break before the 14 hour flight. Before we go through security, Ariel buys some neck pillows and water.  We meet up again, get our bearings, and breeze through security in 5 minutes. Ariel has to dump her water.  We find our departure gate, G98, and Ariel tries to get some falafel and a latte, but the shop is out of both. Ariel she settles for another bottle of water.  Shortly thereafter we are informed over the intercom (by a very apologetic sounding woman) that our plane is having issues, and that all passengers are to migrate to gate G101 instead. 

At gate G101, we all find seats, and the same intercom lady us she doesn't know what is going on, that there was not really a consensus as to why we switched terminals, but she would have words with the captain and get to the bottom of this, and let us know ASAP. Fifteen minutes later, she says our new plane will now likely take off around midnight, still no details. William and Henry break out the gummy-bears and Skittles, and Ariel and JP get up to wander the airport. Ten minutes after this, the woman on the intercom reassuringly confides that the problem with our original plane has been fixed and is now ready for take off, and could we all now please return to the original gate G98.  JP (who is now wandering the airport with Ariel) calls, and I relay the change of events and he and Ariel rush back to meet us at our original gate, G98. I learn later that they had ventured back outside of security, and that Ariel had finally found a place to make her a latte just before the call, and after 2 sips she had to dump it, as well as the second water that she'd brought back out through the security gate.  Not that she needed to rush. We sat another 10 minutes before the plane started boarding. 

 

We board the plane, and Ariel is struck with horror as she notices that our seats are cramped, not just plane cramped; think Greyhound bus cramped.  In place of a middle row of seats, there is a giant claustrophobic nightmare of a wall.  We find no video panels in seats, instead there is only the shared overhead LCD's over the walkway.  I check the flight's movie schedule, and it's full of teen romance and movies that we've all seen.  The plane remains in the terminal for another hour after which we are informed that some faulty lifters have been replaced, and that it would only take another 10 minutes to finish filling the plane with fuel. The stewardesses look very annoyed when we ask for water.  We then wait another 10 minutes while the captain gets permission to take off from headquarters in Chicago.

A video begins playing on the overhead LCD, the president of United Airlines confidently informs us that we are flying with the best of the best. He shares with us that they've just put a shiny new coat of paint on all the planes. I think to myself that some of that money might have been better spent on plane maintenence insead. The video then switches to the safety video, depicting a gentleman in first class with wrap around reclining seats, and a personal video panel in the seat back in front of him. Throughout the flight an add for first class is played every two hours highlighting how the seats in first class recline to a full 180 degrees. 

We get airborne about 12:30PM, and we are promptly served dinner. Our choice is Chicken Marsala or Ravioli. Naively, Ariel and I choose the Marsala, which, if it ever was chicken, it is now indistinguishably so. The meat comes with no sauce, and is much closer in texture and flavor to a kitchen sponge. The gentleman in the seat next to me informs me that he flys a lot, and that when given a choice, never choose the meat.